I'm sorry, who said the what now?

There are many reasons you may see a few days go by without a new post from me.

Often, it's because life gets in the way.

• I have a full-time job.
• I have a husband I (gasp!) love hanging out with. :)
• I have family and friends I crave spending time with.
• I volunteer.
• I have other writing projects in the works.

Life happens. I know you all get that. Life happens to you, too, of course.

But sometimes, it isn't life -- it's me. I get in my own way.

I'm not talking about writer's block (although I get that, too, from time to time). This is something that actually kind of makes me fear for my own sanity.

I'm not sure how other bloggers get their ideas, but for me, they usually come in flashes of inspiration (whether or not it's a good inspiration is a completely different subject altogether). The problem is, these "flashes" usually happen at the most inopportune times:

• While I'm driving
• In the middle of a conversation with someone
• While I'm doing yard work
• Juuuuuust as I'm falling asleep
• During a conference call at work (Note to my boss, who graciously reads this blog: Just pretend I didn't say this one. Hee.)

None of these situations lends itself to either A) writing an actual post or B) writing a well-thought-out description of the central idea of what I want to say. So I end up trying to later decipher things like this:

• "The meaning of telephone poles." {Voicemail left to myself, accompanied by Lady Gaga playing in the background and the sound of rushing wind}
• "Is Facebook destroying us as humans? Deep discussion. Reconnect: No Growth?" {E-mail sent from my phone while I apparently was half-asleep}
• "Gum: Pervasive smell. Why?" {Note hastily scribbled on the back of a receipt and then crumpled at the bottom of my purse}
• "Just one sound required" {Post-It note on my desk at work}

Um.

WHAT?!

By the time I'm able to revisit these at a convenient time for writing, not only do I have no idea why I thought it'd make an interesting blog post, I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking at all. Gum? Facebook? TELEPHONE POLES? Was I high?

So don't think of these absences as me being neglectful. I'm really just doing you all a favor by waiting until I have a semi-formulated thought.

I'll get back to you when I have one. :)

Oh, Facebook. I'm sorry.

So it appears I acted too hastily in chiding you for trapping me in a no-way-out circle of advertising nonsense, Facebook.

Turns out, it was my fault.

Apparently I fat-fingered your URL, typed in www.facebok.com and ended up in that vortex of crap as a result of my own ineptitude. In my defense, the phishers responsible for that nifty little trick went to great lengths to fool the user, mimicking your background and referencing you specifically in their title bar and elsewhere on the page.

I should have known you wouldn't betray me that way.

Would it make you feel better if I adopted the cows and sheep my brother is always sending me, or spent some time in "Yoville," whatever the hell that is?

(Thanks to the anonymous poster who alerted me to my mistake. Oopsie. That'll teach me to rant first and check my typing skills later.)

Thanks a lot, Facebook.

Listen up, Facebook.

I put off joining you forever. The truth is, I don't have a lot of free time, and frankly, there are just some people I'd rather not reconnect with. The thought of you just didn't appeal to me on several levels.

But my friends kept telling me to give you a chance. Co-workers were aghast that I hadn't joined you yet. Everyone kept saying you were a great networking tool, that I could be as involved with you as I wanted to be, that you wouldn't take over my life. At some point, it seemed like I was the only person left on Earth who wasn't a member of your little club. When my friends' parents started joining, I knew I just had to suck it up and join you.

And listen, it's been great. My friends didn't lie: You're surprisingly addictive, it's nice to keep in touch with my friends and family through you, and you don't take that much time. In fact, you're quicker than checking e-mail.

So you can understand why I felt somewhat betrayed when, upon typing in your URL today, you routed me to an advertisement and tried to con me into giving my e-mail address to a bunch of random companies, the better for them to spam me into oblivion. And not only did you take me to the ad instead of your promised logon page, you didn't give me a way out. You trapped me in a random URL called "quizready.com" or something like that, and when I tried to close the page, did you take me to the logon screen I expected?

No. No, you did not.

First, you yelled at me for trying to close the page. Then, instead of letting me FINALLY log on, you closed my browser, I suspect, out of pure spite.

This isn't cool, Facebook. I deserve and expect better treatment, and I won't stand for it. I know you rely on advertising dollars. But this just seems heavy-handed and, frankly, beneath you.

I'm disappointed. I'll let it slide this time, but I don't expect it to happen again. Now go to your room, think about what you've done and don't even think about posting something nasty on my Wall, because I'll know it was you, and I am at my wit's end with you, missy.