(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: Tiny Written Permission

It's Wednesday, and we're all tired. OK, maybe it's just me. But they, the mythical "they," invented Wordless Wednesday for a reason, and that's because us incessant talkers/typers need a break in the middle of a week.

And so I give you some classic WP moments in time, with minimal wordage because, let's face it, I can never ACTUALLY shut up completely.

Fishin' with the Grandparents, circa 1980

See how happy we all look? That's because we hadn't left yet. My grandpa is a serious fisherman, and when my three-year-old squirmy self got bored and started throwing rocks at the fish, he was NOT amused. On the other hand, look at his wicked '70s 'stache! So awesome. Also awesome: My tiny, ridiculously-spazzy golf pants. Rock-throwing-scoldings aside, this is a great memory.

Tiny Shannon Reads the Classics, circa approx. 1978

Number one: Why do I look like a tiny Latino boy?

Number two: Is it just me, or does the ceramic jug/chimney-sweep-broom combo make it look as though we were living in coal mining country? (We were in suburban Ohio.)

And number three: My mom still has that tiny rocking chair for my niece to use when she visits Nana and Papa. The ciiirrrrcle of liiiiiiiiiife!

Happy Wednesday, friends.

Well, it's one more than 299, I'll give it that.

No, I'm not about to tell you about my three-day weekend adventure with shirtless, six-pack-toting, sword-wielding warriors. ("And then I said, 'Can I pet your stomach?' and he was all, "RAWRRRRRRRR!!!! I must avenge SPARTA!!' and then we laughed and laughed.")

And I did not dine in hell yesterday. Although my cooking IS extraordinarily bad.

Nope.

This is my dubiously-clever way of presenting...my 300th post! Hooray!

***

It still amazes me how many times I'm asked, "So...what IS a blog, anyway?" (Apparently, even in 2011, I run in techologically-challenged circles.) My standard answer is, "It's kind of like an online journal." To which the reply is always, "Weird. So, what do you write about?"

And, you know? It's kind of not an easy answer. Because my blog doesn't have a theme. I'm not campaigning for a cause or debating heated political issues. It's not a mommy blog, and it isn't about cooking or crafting or dogs or family or friends, although I talk about all those things.

So when I'm asked, "What's your blog ABOUT?" I usually say something like, "Just...kind of... whatever I'm thinking about at the time. Things that happen to me. What I think about things. Pictures of things in my life. My life -- it's about MY LIFE."

At which time they eye me suspiciously, noses wrinkled, and say, "And...people want to read about that?"

Shockingly, yes; a few of you do.

For which I am both unbelievably amazed and incredibly grateful.

My friend Maura at 36x37 beat me to the punch a bit with her post yesterday about the mentor we both share, the woman who made both of us better writers and editors. Both of those women have factored so greatly into my journey as a writer -- I can never adequately express to them how grateful I am to have learned at their sides.

But all of you? You have and are continuing to help me become a better blogger.

And as a professional writer/editor, I'm here to tell you: There IS a difference.

When I was in school, I lived for creative writing. I wrote long, fanciful stories and plays, creating colorful characters and even starting a novel or two. My imagination knew no bounds, even when I drifted toward and eventually graduated with a degree in journalism. I was sure that, amidst my articles and columns, I would still pursue writing creatively.

Then, I graduated from college. I spent years as a newspaper reporter and editor, and then as a corporate communications writer and editor for a global corporation. And with guidance from my mentors, my writing became polished, tight, efficient and clear: Exactly what you want from a bank. Not necessarily what you're looking for in a novel.

So by the time I started this blog...I'll admit it: I was terrified. I hadn't written creatively in YEARS. Did I remember how to do this? Had I EVER known how to do this? Would my writing sound sterile and stilted? Did I remember how to use adjectives and create metaphors? Would I panic and end up talking about banking and website usability?

I still feel like I'm learning, and I'm still figuring out just what I want from this here space on the interwebs. And there are many, many days when I wish Written Permission DID have a theme, so I wouldn't have to think so hard about what to write.

But it's starting to feel more like home. And believe me: I am fully aware that I owe most of that to you -- you who read and comment and interact (or don't).

So: Thank you. And I hope you don't mind if I stick around for another 300 posts (or so).

Classic WP: That time I jumped out of a flying thing

It was the summer I turned 18. I had just graduated from high school, and was still adjusting to the idea that, in just a few short months, I would be leaving my parents' house for a scary college campus. No matter that it was only three hours away and I was rooming with one of my best friends; it was a change, and change = scary.

As a kid, I wasn't usually one to take risks. I'd had the same friends nearly my entire life. I didn't like trying new foods, I watched the same movies over and over and over and over (oh, Dirty Dancing).

Any physical risks, especially, were out. I was that kid at summer camp who watched from the water's surface while her friends scaled the ladder to the high jump, then vaulted themselves into the lake in a perfect cannonball, with nary a desire to try it herself. It took me forever to learn to ride a bike because I was so afraid of falling. I couldn't even manage a decent cartwheel as a pre-teen because I was afraid kicking my legs up that high would make me fall over.

True story.

That's why, when my friend P said, "I think we should go sky-diving when you turn 18!" I just laughed.

And laughed and laughed.

Because, hello: P had been my best friend since age 5 when we discovered each other at Vacation Bible School. P had vaulted herself off many a high jump while I waited and watched; she knew better than anyone what a fraidy-cat she was dealing with.

And yet.

As I went off to college, started meeting new people, taking new classes and getting into the social scene on campus (sort of), it kept needling me. Jumping out of a plane. Who would expect it from me, the girl who never tried anything new? What a great way to show everyone the new, improved, one-quarter-of-college-educated, RISK-TAKER Shannon?

I called P before I could change my mind. "Let's do it."

On a chilly weekend in October, we headed to Canton, Ohio, and spent a day taking a different kind of course: How Not to Die When Jumping Out of Planes. We studied the planes we'd be jumping out of, learned the basic moves and techniques and watched videos of unsuccessful jumps. (After watching a tandem jump during which the instructor landed on top of the student, grinding her face into a pile of gravel, we immediately decided we were jumping solo.)

And then, it was time to practice. How do you practice jumping out of a plane? For starters, you have a cardboard replica of the actual plane inside the hangar (demonstrated here by my little brother, who'd come to support his big sister and hopefully not watch her plunge to her death):

Here was the plan: A cable would connect our rip cord to the plane, so when we jumped, it'd pull our chute for us automatically. No instructor to possibly land on us, but also no chance of newbie panicking and forgetting how to deploy the chute. We'd ride up in the plane, Step out onto a tiny platform attached to the wing -- first one foot, then both hands, then the other foot -- and then hang from the wing, letting our feet dangle. When the instructor (from inside the plane) gave us the OK, we'd let go. And fall. And hopefully not die.

It was finally time. We suited up, looking most spectacular...

...and a little like we were headed for an expedition in deep space:



Then it was time to board the plane, which looked so very much smaller and more rickety than we'd imagined:

Only three of us could go up at a time. P's boyfriend hopped in first, followed by P and then me. As we readied for takeoff, I suddenly realized: Last one into the plane jumps first. Gulp.

We took off into a lightly-clouded blue sky, with freezing-cold wind pouring into the plane. I noticed again how rattley the plane sounded. Please, God; please don't let the plane crash before we can even jump out of it.

In what seemed like three seconds, we were at 3,500 feet and the instructor was opening the door. There was literally no turning back now; the other two couldn't jump if I didn't, and there was no way I was making the pilot land the plane so I could march, humilated and un-sky-dived, into the hangar.

So I got onto my hands and knees, said a quick prayer (OK, who am I kidding: I was praying the ENTIRE time) and took the first step. Right foot onto the foot-long platform. Right hand onto the bar. Left hand on the bar. Left foot onto the teeny-weeny platform. OMG, I am OUTSIDE AN AIRPLANE THAT IS CURRENTLY HURTLING THROUGH THE AIR.

It was now or never. I let my feet go, so I was literally hanging from the airplane by only my fingers. I looked at my instructor. "BLARGH!" he yelled.

Wait. What?

"GOOOOOOOOOO! Let GO!!!"

Oh!

I closed my eyes.

I let go.

There were a few moments of gorgeous free-fall, during which I felt completely weightless and terrified and exhilarated all at once. And then I felt my chute deploy, and catch, and I remembered I was supposed to do something. Look up, see if your lines are twisted, if they are don't panic, kick your legs and grab your steering toggles. The day's lesson came back in an instant. And after 30 seconds of kicking and untwisting...

...I was flying.

Oh, friends. If you have never done this, I don't quite know how to describe it to you. All I can say is that I was immediately brought to tears by the sheer beauty of the earth I was now floating gently toward.

In those first few moments, my breath was taken. I didn't know what to do. I was alone up there; no one next to me for me to turn to and say, "Oh. My. God. Are you seeing this?!" What is the proper response in those moments of breathless silence?

Me? I started to sing. And I sang and I sang, up where no one could hear me except God Himself, in a moment that was unlike anything I've ever experienced, before or since.

What, you can't see me? Here I am, still singing:

I don't remember now what I sang, but it really isn't important.

As I started nearing the ground, it occurred to me that I was actually supposed to slow myself down so I didn't break my legs when I landed. I grabbed the steering toggles and guided myself as best I could toward the waiting pick-up truck in the big field where we were supposed to land.

I wish I could tell you that, after my one-person concerto in the sky, I landed lightly on both feet, touching down just like an angel, beaming beatifically as the instructors drove to retrieve me.

But I didn't. My knees immediately crumpled under me and I pitched forward to land...directly on my face. After which I completed a truly ugly version of a forward roll and came to rest on my back, legs akimbo and parachute tangled around me.

Back on earth.

And with a permanent smile on my face.

Whooooo Ammmm Iiiiiiii?

(It's times like these that I wish my husband read my blog, since he's probably the only one who'd get the Jackie Chan movie reference in my blog title. Ah, well.)

Since I'm still relatively new to the blogger world and some of you may not know me very well, I thought I'd follow Wrestling Kitties' lead and complete a little survey about myself...

1. What is your name and do you have any nicknames? Shannon. Commonly called Shan for short. Occasionally mistakenly called Sharon (which annoys me to no end). And my husband calls me Bunny, which I adore.

2. What color are your socks right now? White with red and gray stripes

3. What are you listening to right now? A really old reality show on the Fox Reality Channel; people were just as inane on these things 10 years ago as they are today.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? A Fiber One granola bar -- tasty and fiberiffic! :)

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Oh, no. And it's probably better for the welfare of the rest of the world that we keep things that way. I tried to learn once and, after four hours of not moving an inch in a parking lot, I vowed never to try it again.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? The auto repair shop owner, who was refreshingly honest (and saved me a bunch of money) by telling me I DIDN'T need an alignment; imagine, getting repeat business by being HONEST! Sometimes it's great living in a small town.

7. Last place you went on vacation? Sarasota, Florida, in 2008. Hoping to go back (maybe even a few times!) this year.

8. What hobbies do you have? Wow -- so many things these days! Writing (this blog, children's books), crafts (mostly knitting, although I do like scrapbooking, too), Rock Band and Guitar Hero, volunteering at our county dog shelter...

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Much to my husband's chagrin (he is a true sports FANATIC), I have almost zero interest in watching sports on TV. If pressed, though, I would much rather watch college basketball than pretty much anything else.

10. What is your favorite drink? Water, peach-flavored iced tea

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Absolutely, although not for several years now. The biggest fiasco? I went into a hair salon and asked them to make my very-dark-brown hair "warmer," and I walked out with...orange hair. Like, the color of a traffic cone. Did I mention this was six months before my wedding?

12. Favorite food? I spend hours and days pondering this question. Right now, I'd have to say SUSHI, particularly anything that involves salmon and/or avocado.

13. What is the last movie you watched? Saw VI. I laughed through most of it. A testament to why most series are best left at a trilogy.

14. Favorite day of the year? October 5, our anniversary. It's fall -- by far my favorite season -- and it's just fun to look back at our marriage and realize how far we've come.

15. How do you vent anger? Surprisingly? Cleaning. I don't know if it's my unconscious need to bring some order to a disorderly emotion like anger, or just the fact that I get to slam pots and pans around and make a lot of noise so T KNOWS how annoyed I am. :)

What was your favorite toy as a child? Hmm...not sure I had a favorite single toy as a child; it definitely wasn't this. I had a big stuffed dog named Fifi that I used to dress in my own clothes. Maybe I had issues. :)

17. What is your favorite season? Fall -- absolutely. I love everything about it -- just the way the air SMELLS is fantastic.

18. Cherries or Blueberries? Hmm...probably cherries, provided they're fresh. Although I'd much prefer raspberries. But that wasn't one of the options, and never let it be said that I don't at least try to play by the rules.

19. What is your occupation right now? Writer/editor (as well as user experience consultant and other unofficial roles) for a corporate website

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? I would love to make a living writing books -- either children's books or novels

21. What state (or country for our international bloggers) do you live and what State or Country would you like to live some day? I'm an Ohio dweller, and (to echo Wrestling Kitties) I actually like living here. I love the seasons and the proximity to my family and many of my friends. I'm not sure my Virginia native husband is quite so enthusiastic, but he's good here for now. :)

22. Living arrangements? Own a house (with my husband) on about 4 1/2 acres of land in the country. I absolutely love being out in the middle of nowhere, knowing our neighbors, being able to see the stars at night...

23. Do you have any pets? Oh yes, although we think of them more like children/family members: two fat and spoiled boxers named Bubba and Murray. We adore them.

24. What is on the floor of your closet? About 20 pairs of shoes that I haven't worn for at least three years. I think a spring cleaning/purging is in order this year...

25. What are three of your favorite items at the moment? I love my new Droid! I've never had a "cool" phone before, so I'm enjoying it for the 15 minutes until it's obsolete. I also love the large box of Lush products my husband gave me for Christmas. It'll take me all year to use, but right now it's just making my bathroom smell amazing. And I'd probably also have to say the remote starter on T's car, which we've officially established is NOT a ghost.

26. What did you do last night? Watched my husband channel his inner rock star with Guitar Hero: Metallica and finished rewatching the last season of LOST. I can't wait for the new (last!) season to start!

27. Any news you want to share? Although I'm being sort of deliberately coy about it, I've lost a fair amount of weight in the last six months and am working on more. Hitting sort of a plateau this last week, but I'm sure it's just temporary. At least that's what I'm telling myself. :)

28. What do you like on your hamburgers? Cheddar cheese, onions, limited condiments

29. Favorite dog breed? Boxers!

30. Favorite day of the week? Any day I don't have to work. :) That sounds terrible, as I do like my job. But who doesn't prefer the days when you just get to do whatever you want?

31. How many states have you lived in? Lifelong Ohioan

32. Diamonds or pearls? Definitely diamonds, although I love the pearls my grandmother passed on to me

33. What is your favorite flower? Any kind of colorful wildflower

34. Favorite meal you have ever had at a restaurant and which restaurant was it? Wow -- I have absolutely no idea. Which should tell you that I've been to a lot of mediocre restaurants. :) Off the top of my head, I'd say this shrimp/garlic/pasta dish at Carrabba's, or the Caterpillar roll at Sushi En in Columbus.

35. What music are you currently listening to? I usually rotate around 9 or 10 different music channels on XM while I'm driving, although lately I've been listening to my Glee soundtrack CD. :) I'm a dork.

36. What is one fun thing you are looking forward to in the coming year? Taking more than one vacation that does NOT include home improvement projects!