Weeks 15-17: STAY OUT OF MY PREGNANT WAY. (And good stuff, too.)

Want the whole baby scoop? See all previous posts here.

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First things first: It's been a few weeks since I last posted, let alone gave some kind of baby update. You know. Life. Work. Lots and lots of work. My day job is rewarding but demanding, and it's been especially demanding of late. Something has to give, and unfortunately, this blog is usually the first thing to go. It cannot be helped. I'm sorry. (And also sorry that, as a result, this post will be kind of long.)

And that's about all the apologizing you'll get out of me because the theme for the last few weeks has been Laugh Cry About Nothing Yell About Something Stupid PREGNANT SHANNON SMASH Cry More Laugh Hysterically Rinse Lather Repeat.

In other words: Moody.

OK, let's just say it: BITCHY.

My husband looooooooooves this part of pregnancy.

:)

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't aware of it; I am. But to some extent it feels like I just can't...control it? To me, it feels like PMS turned up to 11. In any case, I am on the verge of tears and/or yelling all.the.time and it is super fun for all of us.

However, physically? I'm feeling really, really...good! So good, in fact, that it's been a little unnerving. I commented to my mother a week or so ago that I kind of miss the nausea and constant exhaustion because at least that let me know stuff was happening. Then that mostly went away, and I felt mostly normal (well, except for the aforementioned Exorcist Bitchfacedness), and I kind of missed it.

(Only I could find a way to complain about NOT feeling like I'm going to puke. Therapy, I need it.)

Only physical complaint: I've now hit the inevitable point where I need to pee every 5.3 seconds. As Two Pretzels will tell you, I find this INCREDIBLY annoying. (I hate stopping what I'm doing to pee; I don't like to be interrupted.)

All right. Enough about the (very inconsequential) negative. On to the positive!

I AM FEELING THE BABY MOVE.

This actually started around the end of Week 14. It felt like something was tickling me from the inside. My thoughts:

• There is absolutely no way I'm feeling the baby move this early.


• I'm a big girl; big girls don't feel movement this early.


• I just have really weird gas.

When I had that really weird gas around the same times every day for a week and a half, I finally gave in and accepted that either A) I am the gassiest human being on the planet (still debatable) or B) OMG I AM FEELING THE BABY MOVE.

Allow me to state the obvious and say this is The Coolest Thing Ever, and knowing that it will only get stronger and cooler is, well, really really cool.
(The baby has stolen my vocabulary, apparently. And my thesaurus. Sticky in-utero fingers.)

For me, this is making the pregnancy seem really, truly real. There is a person in there, and he or she is tickling me. Well, more likely punching me, but his or her fists are teeny-weeny, so it's more like fist smashes, but from a tiny soft angel. Angel Smashes. Yes.

And speaking of teeny-weeny, since we last spoke, Angel Smash has breezed right past the navel orange and avocado and is now the size of...an onion! Although you must picture an onion that's about five or so inches long, which, to me, seems like an awfully big onion. But whatever.

Allow me a moment for reflection: I cannot believe we're almost halfway there. It seems like a dream. On one hand, it feels like we've known about this pregnancy FOREVER (T asks me daily, "Is it time for the baby to be born YET?" We're excited). On the other hand, there's still SO much to do, that I'm actually happy we still have 5.5 months to go.

Thankfully (happily, gratefully), I'm now on vacation, so we'll be doing a lot of things over the next two weeks:

• Clearing out the eventual nursery (which is now, as my mother puts it, our "Employees Only" room


• Checking out childcare options in our area


• Finding out what kind of classes are available at the hospital we're using


• Figuring out what furniture and other big items we need


• Registering for baby stuff


• Talking about names (but still not sharing any, so don't get excited)


• NOT finding out the gender

We do have our 20-week ultrasound next Friday (not quite 20 weeks, but close, and I'll be across the country during week 20), and I can't wait to see Kicky Magoo again. I don't even care that I'll have to turn away at some point: I just love seeing him or her thriving in there. It will never get old.

Next week, I'll give you my lament about finding maternity clothes for the, um, more voluptuous expectant mother. Hint: You should really like looking as if you're on safari. At least that's what clothes manufacturers seem to think.

Entertain me.

I don't have an iPad.

But my generous little brother is lending me his for a few upcoming business trips, so I can see how I dig it.

So, here's what I need from you experienced 'padders:

• Which (preferably free) apps will keep me entertained on a six-hour flight to Seattle?



• Which are your favorites?



• Which ones are waaaaay over-hyped and not worth the time/money?

I like doodley-type apps, puzzle-type games, simple games like Angry Birds (which I do already have), word games, etc. But, I'm willing to give pretty much anything a look if you think it's a must-have.

Clue me in!

Baby Q&A: Week 14

Want the whole baby scoop? See all previous posts here.

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So, this week's theme is thus:

No, our child is not forming a People's Justice League from within the womb (although that would be kind of awesome). He or she (according to "What to Expect When You're Expecting," that is) is now, in Week 14, about the size of a clenched fist.

I shared this factoid with T the other day, and we both were rather freaked out that our baby is still so tiny. Even though I'm not really showing yet, we still forget often how teeny-weeny he or she really still is. For whatever reason, we just envision our bambino as a full-term newborn and it kind of flips us out to remember we're still dealing with someone who's just a few inches long.

So, how are you feeling about pregnancy in this, the 14th week?
Honestly? It's still a little weird. Since I'm not showing, really, and I can't feel movement yet, it often feels a little like, "Helloooooo, baby...anyone in there?" I told T it almost feels like the baby lives in the ultrasound machine, and we have to go to the doctor's office to visit him or her. :)

Does this mean your nausea and extreme exhaustion is waning?
Why, yes -- yes it does. I still have my moments with both -- vegetables still kind of gross me out -- but for the most part, my appetite has returned to normal, and I can go most days without a nap.

The biggest difference I'm noticing as I head into the second trimester is that I'm no longer just eating because I know I have to; I'm actually eating because things sound and taste good again. This is both good and bad: I'm finding it harder to eat what I should because I'm craving starchy snacky food. I think this'll be my biggest challenge in the foreseeable future.

Um, are you at least taking a multi-vitamin so your baby has things like feet and brain cells?
YES, smarty-pants. I'm not completely ignorant to the ways of nutrition. And I am trying really hard to get a balanced diet full of fruits and veggies and Omega-3s and whatnot. I just have a day here and there where all I want is Captain Crunch cereal. BACK OFF.

O...kay. This may be a good time to ask if you're experiencing any of the famed pregnancy moodiness of late?
What? I'm sorry, I was over here crying and couldn't hear your question.

So...yeah. I am finding myself rather moody (or, as T so lovingly says, "moodier than usual"). About twice a week (and sometimes more), I'll find myself totally bummed out about something, real or imagined (often the latter), and will be utterly inconsolable for an hour or so. T, bless him, is learning how to navigate these mood swings -- namely, to hug me, pat me on the back and say, "I know, baby. But it'll be OK."

(He is less good at navigating my sudden outbursts of groundless anger that I, naturally, direct right at him. Well, why DID he load the dishwasher THAT WAY, anyway?! I mean, really.)

How are the dogs handling all of this? Do they know you're pregnant?
Mmm...not really. As I've told a few people, our dogs are far too self-involved to notice. We're not seeing any overprotectiveness or gentleness that I've heard others talk about. Essentially they just want to make sure they get fed, and occasionally they will deign to snuggle with me, but no more than usual. It'll be interesting to see if this changes in the next six months.

Have you told folks at work yet?
Yes -- unfortunately I had to clue them in quite early, as I had to travel for work in my 8th week and I knew it would affect things somewhat. I have two more out-of-town trips planned for my fifth month (with my doctors' full OK, of course), so I'm glad my co-workers can be in the loop and understand when I want to crash at the hotel after work vs. whooping it up at happy hour. (And they do; I have awesome co-workers.)

OK, last question: What's the best piece of advice you've received so far?
Hands down: Just relax. Relax and enjoy pregnancy for what it is, whatever it is for you. Don't worry too much about everyone else's advice, listen to your doctor, do what feels right for you. I am trying to take all of this to heart and not stress out, although it's hard (I am a fretter by nature).

More to come!

Exaggerated crises

Our air conditioning is out.

I don't really understand the particulars, but essentially it just keeps running and running and running but no cold air (or any air, period) is coming through the vents.

It needs some serious repair, that much is evident. But we'd decided to "ride it out" since it's basically fall, and we need a host of other more immediate expensive things in preparation for a March baby (including, but not limited to, a new washer, new windows and propane for, y'know, heat for the winter).

The Weather Channel says it is 87 degrees at my house, and it feels like 92. I don't really understand heat indexes (indices?) but my own pregnant ass is telling me that 92 is a joke and it is HOT AS BALLS in my house.

(Note: This is a technical term used by meterologists. Don't look it up. Just trust me.)

So: Windows are open, fan is on, conference calls are being had while I'm sweatin' (although, sadly, not to the oldies). But I FEEL LIKE I'M DYING.

(Am I dying? Most decidedly not. Am I incredibly spoiled because many people who aren't even in third-world countries only get to experience A/C when they go to the supermarket? Most definitely. But I'm hot RIGHT NOW and therefore need a solution.)

Things I am considering to cool off after work:

• Breaking into the (now closed for the winter -- WHY?!) county pool and having a one-woman pool party until the cops arrest me for trespassing


• Taking a cold shower and then lying on the bed, spread-eagled and whimpering


• Whining until someone buys me ice cream and then feeds it to me


• Constructing a suit out of ice cube-filled Ziploc bags and parading through my neighborhood wearing nothing else


• Crying, allowing my tears to lower my body temperature


• Getting the dogs to fan me with palm fronds (will need to invent prosthetic thumbs)

If anyone has less humiliating suggestions (that don't involve telling me to just get over myself, because I know, OK?), please lay 'em on me.