March 16, 2010

Inner monologue

I have so much work to do.

Work is boring. Blog. You know you want to!

But...this is my job. Won't people notice if I just...stop working?

Are you kidding? Did you see Office Space? That dude stopped working and GOT PROMOTED.

True. But then that squirrelly guy burned the building down and the main guy ended up working in construction. Do I seem like the construction type?

You're forgetting that the guy was HAPPY doing construction. And you once had a job building furniture. How is that different?

Are you forgetting how bad I was at making furniture? By the time I quit, they wouldn't even let me use a hammer. And then they threw a party because they knew for sure OSHA wasn't going to sue them when I inevitably cut my hand off with the circular saw.

OK, now you're going off the deep end. No one is making you work construction. Just write one little blog on your lunch break. No one will even notice! And if you have to do it during a conference call, well...have you ever really GOTTEN something out of one of those calls, anyway?

Look, that would just be totally unprofess--

--OK, seriously. Now you're just making me angry. It's been five days. I know you went out of town, I know you have all this "work" to do, but you need to quit being a pansy. Are you going to blog or not?

...Yes ma'am.

(I'm trying to get back in the groove, but it may be awhile before I can be "regular" on here. (Ew.) I'm sure it won't be too long. As you can see, my inner voice is extremely bossy.)

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