November 12, 2009

A brief "if/then" statement


If my sinuses stop producing strange and terrifying things...

If my head returns to its former size of slightly-larger-than-average, as opposed to its current size of larger-than-a-Thanksgiving-Day-parade-balloon...

If callers to my home no longer mistake me for a man when I answer the phone...

If I no longer want to bludgeon the makers of Dayquil, who have been unable (for me, at least) to create a suitable counterpart to the heavensent Nyquil...

...then I shall return to the land of smiles, sunshine and blogging.

Until then, I beg 1,000 pardons and will be over here on the couch, muttering fever-induced expletives.

(I'm being overly-dramatic -- I don't have a fever. Just a really bad cold. But I'm out for the day. Boo.)

5 backtalk:

Ky (Two Pretzels) said...

Dear friend-o-mine,
We (Lila, Ferg and I), truly hope you feel better... and fast.

Love,
Us.

wrestling kitties said...

I hope you feel better! :)

65 Roses for Marcia said...

Sending get well wishes to you, my dear :)

Mickey Dee said...

Your pardons have been accepted.

BTW, the plumeria that is now in your header would make me feel a million times better! Oh how I love plumeria!

Amber said...

Hope you're feeling better today!

There was an error in this gadget

I'm Reading:

 

Written Permission | Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial License | Dandy Dandilion Designed by Simply Fabulous Blogger Templates