Shut up, Daylight Savings Time.

It was all well and good when I got an extra hour of sleep on Sunday. I’m not going to lie – that was nice.

But when I left work at 6:30 last night and it was PITCH BLACK outside, and I had to scurry to my car in the creepy parking garage, under the overhead lights that don’t work (or if they do, they’re flickering and adding to the overall I’m-going-to-be-killed-by-a-psychopath-any-second-now vibe)? I was cursing you and your stupid, stupid rules.

Thanks to Google, I now know that Daylight Savings Time is supposed to save us energy by slotting the traditional “daytime hours” for the majority of folks (presumably 7 a.m.-5 p.m.?) within the actual hours of daylight as much as possible. Thereby cutting down on the number of hours we’re all using electricity to see. Or something.

(Incidentally, this was the sixth thing that came up when I typed “Why do we have” in Google. Also making the list: “Why do we have laws,” “Why do we have dreams” and “Why do we have pubic hair.” Indeed.)

What I want to know is: What do these new hours do for ME? I’m at work from 9-6. Any daylight before 9 a.m. is entirely wasted on me. (What, am I going to get up early and do a load of laundry and weed my flowerbed before I go to work? HA! Oh, you’re hilarious.)

Your stupid rules mean that I never get to be outside between November and March. I NEVER SEE THE SUN. I become a grouchy mole person who scuttles from the house to the car, from the car to the office and back again, hissing at anyone who looks at me or gets in my way.

In closing: I hate you, Daylight Savings Time. You suck.

P.S.: Let me also express my hatred of anyone who is not me who can go see movies on a weeknight. The movie theater near my office was PACKED when I left last night. HATE.