November 30, 2009

Eight Completely Selfish Reasons the Holidays Stress Me Out

  1. Between traveling to see family and spending any free time either brainstorming about present ideas or shopping for said presents, my Tivo gets completely overloaded. When will I have time to watch it all? When?!

  2. On a related note, who had the bright idea to put So You Think You Can Dance up against an HD version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on Wednesday? Why don't you just ask me to choose between my dogs, you sadists!

  3. There are too many food choices. Three meats, 12 different kinds of potatoes, 25 different vegetables, 167 desserts. What do I eat?! Where do I turn?! Aaaaaahhhhh!!

  4. The song "Feliz Navidad" makes me want to impale myself on a sprig of mistletoe. I don't know why. But it gets stuck in my head for DAYS and makes me INSANE.

  5. Between my neighbors' and my co-workers' kids, I am now supporting every single class in every single school in Central Ohio. I cannot say no to a preschooler selling $35 candles who tells me, "I get a pri-thze if I th-ell the mo-tht. Can you buy the one with the pic-thure of the birdhou-th?" At least I have a stash of overpriced tchotchkes and giant tins of popcorn to give to people I don't like that much.
  6. Speaking of things I don't need: EVERY SINGLE COMPANY I've ever ordered anything from is bombarding me with e-mails about special holiday deals for things I would never want or need. Just because I once ordered tickets for Wicked doesn't mean I want to see A Holiday Classic with Tom Jones and Olivia Newton John*, TICKETMASTER.
  7. I get that times are tough, and companies have to tighten their belts. I'm sure that extends to advertising, too. But if Hershey's could please, for the love, develop a new commercial to replace their "Hershey's Kiss handbells playing We Wish You a Merry Christmas" where the little Kiss wipes its forehead at the end with its tiny Kiss paper and goes, "Whew!" -- I would greatly appreciate it. I'm fairly certain that was created in the 80s. At first it was cute. Now it's just lazy.
  8. What with all the witticisms and heartfelt sentiments I'm pouring into my Christmas cards, I'm nearly dry when it comes to mustering up things to write about on this blog. I'm just going to apologize in advance.
(Relax, I'm joking about most or maybe all of this. I love the holidays. But if you find me rocking back and forth in the corner whispering "I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heaaaaaaaaaarrrrt" while quietly weeping, please handle me with care.)

*May or may not be an event I just made up.

3 backtalk:

wrestling kitties said...


We were at 96% YES 96% on our upstairs DVR. I spent all day sunday watching TV to catch up. I am happy to report we are not at 46%. phew (I say upstairs so if you implied that we have 2 DVR's then you would be correct. Who needs 2 DVR's? we do as the one downstairs was at 78%)

There IS way too much food. I cooked 2 Thanksgiving dinners and wanted to make them different enough so to not get entirely sick of Thanksgiving food. I think I had potatoes five different ways in 3 days. ugh.

Um, The kids one cracked me up!! HA

P.S. I know we don't know each other but I will warn you if I find you "rocking back and forth in the corner whispering ""I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heaaaaaaaaaarrrrt"" while quietly weeping, please handle me with care" I will video tape that and put it on youtube (once I figure out how to put videos on youtube) before I try to comfort you. Sorry, but it is true.

Iris Took said...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much food. I am finding myself having mental breakdowns because of having to resist it.

I love Feliz Navidad! LOL.

Ticketmaster emails make me crazy too. Just stop it!

Love this list!

Written Permission said...

WK, I am ashamed to say we actually have three DVRs. One for my husband, one for me (no, we can't share) and one for the basement where we (OK, I) record things that I watch while I work out. Embarrassing? Yes. Necessary? Also yes.

And no judgment for exploiting my psychotic break before offering aid. Priorities. :)

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