November 20, 2010

Chair graffiti

My office is enormous. Last time I heard the human capacity quantified, it was somewhere around 10,000 people.

And, unlike most giant buildings, it's long instead of tall.

It's roughly the size of the Empire State Building lying on its side. For real.

Because it's so spread out, it has a huge, mall-like atrium running through its center, lined with towering trees, burbling pools and squashy armchairs where employees hold impromptu meetings and take personal calls throughout the day.

And, sometimes they nap. Really.

Just outside my wing of the building, one such arrangement of squashy chairs is nearly always occupied by a woman in her early 20s, usually clad in a very work-inappropriate outfit (think belly shirts exposing both muffin top and tramp stamp), talking loudly on a crystal-encrusted cell phone.

She's there almost every time I walk by. In the morning. Lunchtime. Mid-afternoon. When I go home in the evening. I find myself not only wondering when this woman ever gets any work done, but also: What can she possibly be talking about?

I think I know now:


Scrawled on the arm of her favorite squashy chair

LOVE KILLS


That may be, Inappropriately-Dressed Loud-Talker. That may be. But something tells me that, if you worked a little bit harder and defaced your employers' property a little less, your life might improve.

This has been a public service announcement.

7 backtalk:

Nadja said...

That killed me. Please sit there someday and eavesdrop.

Ky • twopretzels.com said...

Oh, this has me laughing.

"...If you worked a little bit harder and defaced your employer's property a little less..."

Summer said...

Awesome.

Trophy Life said...

uh, are you kidding me? it shouldn't surprise me that this girl has time for these types of shenanigans. i think she needs a good therapist.... love shouldn't "kill". : (

Sarah said...

You crack me up. You should sit there and eavesdrop some time.

And, can you imagine the conversation she has with herself while getting dressed, for work?

Iris Took said...

Is that an Ed Hardy reference? If so, commence slapping.

Wendy said...

We need video of this!

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